This blog is about a particular person who is no longer with us, but greatly impacted my life in many ways and I know he had an impact on other lives as well. Today, is the 5 year anniversary of his death, and my emotions have been all over the place (probably partially due to pregnancy hormones). Since the untimely loss of this person many thought have permeated my mind, some good and some bad. Thoughts of regret and thoughts of blessings in disguise.
This particular individual I dated all through high school and two years thereafter. Needless to say they had the time to make a significant impact on my life, my thoughts and my choices. I can not say that I always made the best decisions concerning my relationship with this individual, but then again that is life and that it how we learn.
There are many things to which I am very grateful to have known this fine individual. Through every relationship there are ups and downs, good times and bad. My relationship with this person taught me a lot about living, loving. It taught me that part of growing up is being able step back and look at relationships as an outsider. I learned how co-dependency plays a significant part in relationships and that it is not beneficial to either party.
Having shared a good portion of my young adult life with this person, I am thankful that God placed them in my life. This particular relationship made me a stronger person and helped me discover more of myself and take a deeper look inside. This person loved me in a way that is unexplainable, but sometimes all the love in the world does not make a relationship work. I was so in love, that I could not see the negatives in receiving that vast amount of love.
Let's be clear, this blog is not in anyway a negative view of my past relationships, but is significant because of all that I learned through loving and losing, an growing into a more mature person. I am thankful for my relationship with this person, and while after their death there was some resentment, I am past that now. I know that my resentment stemmed from anger and hurt, that to heal I had to forgive and move on.
The lyrics in Adele's most recent release some up some of my thoughts, "Nothing compares, no worries or cares, regrets and mistakes, they are memories made, who would have known how bittersweet this would taste...sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead".
Some people come into our lives, they change us from the inside out, and they leave permanent impressions on our hearts. Thank you JWS for the impressions you left on my heart and all that I learned about life and love from the relationship that we shared!
S.C.
